Adventures in Being Single Part I: Text it Up

So there's this tv show called "How I Met Your Mother" and there's this character called "Barney Stinson" and he does this thing where he introduces his single friend to people by saying "Have you met Ted?" (I'm sure there will be more on that later). So my friend, we'll call him Barney did that. To this kid. And so yesterday I started a text conversation with him, which was chill or whatever, and I hung out with Barney and his friends, which included the boy, who I guess we'll call Sheldon. And okay, it went really well! And we played like knee hockey and he blocked shots for me which was super cute.
And like, afterwards I wanted to text him but wouldn't because, excuse me, desperate? And I was complaining about how I wanted to but couldn't to Barney and then he like... GRRR. He texted Sheldon and told him to freaking text me. Seriously. My life is like a sitcom. (Ironic because I named these people after sitcom characters). But now we're texting and flirting and like how do I tell him I'm not like looking for something right now? Because god he's really good at this like flirting thing. I'm not going to like date people any time soon though.
And like, I get butterflies, but then when my ex texts me it's like, what am I doing texting this other boy and flirting when like you know there's so many unresolved issues between me and my ex. And like, I know that we're over and what ever. But it still feels wrong. A little.
And it's like, I know I probably don't want to actually want to date this guy. Actually I know for a fact that I really don't think want to, I don't think... I just want to have what I had with my ex again. And it's way too soon for that...
Raise your hand if you're emotionally confused. Just me? No?

Okay, until next time.
Rex

F and A

Maybe you don't understand
Because you don't feel at all
So afraid of getting hurt
Afraid of if you fall.
Maybe you don't understand
Because you just don't care
Well I don't care how fine you are
Do you feel smug up there?
I can see your high horse from here,
And I'm watching from blocks away,
So tell me, do you feel safe up there?
I've got a snake, start your parade.
Maybe you don't understand
Because you're not fully evolved
I heard that boys mature after girls
Well that's one thing solved.
Maybe you don't understand
Because you're afraid to feel
Because you were burned once before.
Well you forget about me.
One left me in a blaze,
The other relit the match,
And you? You threw in a bomb
And laughed at the after math.
Well maybe we'll get back together
Yesterday-- That was great
But today I know we'll fight some more
So much for a fresh slate.
Well maybe one day you'll love me
The way I used to love you
And then that day it'll be too late.
What's lost is lost... Screw you.
Well maybe one day you'll realize
That you've been a huge asshole.
And maybe one day you'll realize
I'm tired of all the shit you pull.
Well maybe one day you'll start to understand
That what people think of you
Sometimes really matters
When they're starting to hate you.
I hope someday you'll listen
When you people tell you you've gone too far
And maybe then you'll freaking stop.
And see how much of a jerk you sometimes are.
And maybe then you'll realize
I wholeheartedly loved you.
And you just forgot me,
And I'm so glad that we're through.

Breathe Again

I guess this is what it feels like
To completely fall apart
And then put things back together
Better than the start.
Well maybe I'm not there yet
But in a month you'll see
The biggest thing I regret
Was letting you change me.
Because I was fine before you
And I'm fine without you now
Because I guess I didn't know you,
And I guess you didn't know how
To feel the way that I did,
Because now I'm left alone
And you just smile and wave
And I try to find a home.
And so maybe you should just go
And let me finally heal
Maybe you'll just never know
I never fully breathed.
And then you left and now I find,
That what I thought is true
I can finally breathe again
And it's all thanks you.

that awkward moment when your ex tells his friend who tells his friend whose mom tells your friend and she tells you that he knows you broke up

So it hurts that you can't love me

And that you had to throw me out

You used me and you lose me

Forgot what it's about.

And all these games you're playing

Can't you see you have to lose

And all this time that I've been wasting

Hung up over you

And these times that I am crying

Over stupid little things

And all the things that I am trying

To bring you back to me

And all the sweet words you said

In these many months of late

The thing I remember most

"I don't think we should date.

I think we need a break.

I think we need some space."

I think I need a change.

And now all the time I've wasted

Watching out for you

And never are you coming back

And I guess that I miss you

And I guess you can't know this

But now that we broke up

I'm crying and I'm hurting

I've finally had enough.

Because baby this was something!

This was something real.

And, yeah, maybe this is my fault,

Now there's nothing left to feel.

I guess that I should say this

Now that you're out and gone

But more than your goodbye

It hurt more you moving on.

So say that you don't love me--

well, you never will, that's true.

You'll never say that to my face

Because you're still you.

So say all you can to hurt me--

But you won't do that still.

Because you're too good a person

You never shoot to kill.

Then say that you won't see me--

We both know that's a lie.

I'm still a part of your life,

And you're still a part of mine.

So tell me that you hate me--

This I might believe.

You haven't been yourself of late

But who knows who I'm supposed to be?

So then tell me that I'm nothing--

I know you don't think that though

You can try but I won't listen.

Can't fool me any more.

So I guess that there's nothing left

For you to say to me

And I guess there's nothing else

For me to wish to be.

And I guess there's nothing else

That could eve hurt me more

I'm not talking about the break up

You've moved on, that cut me to the core.

How long did you wait

Before breaking out the champagne

Did you even feel any pain at all

You're making me insane.

For how long have you felt this?

Like I can just be brushed aside?

Yes everyday's a new day.

But that's 437 by your side.

So tell me that I shouldn't cry--

That'll just make things hurt more

Tell me, do you feel anything?

What good is love for?

So please before I go to sleep

Just try to comprehend

The only thing that hurts more than goodbye

Is that you never understand.