Unrequited and Casual

I don't care if you don't like me.
At least that's what I'll say.
And I don't care if you joke around
With other girls all day.
I'll just hide my jealousy,
And admire you from afar.
And you'll mock and kid with me,
And I'll dream of what we aren't.
I'll pretend to laugh when you joke,
About my looks and stature...
I'll laugh and smile and look away.
Pretend to look demure.
It's not that I'm self-conscious,
Or care if what you say's true...
I just don't want boys thinking that...
Specifically? Not you.
Not you, the boy I wish were mine,
Who I dream of every night.
Whose name I know from it's deep echo,
In darkness and in light.
And reality serves to tell you that
I'm exaggerating the truth,
Romanticizing what this feels like...
Because that's what I do.
And I guess that I should let you know,
That I'm thinking about you.
But you're a bit of a flirt,
No... You don't like me too.
I wish you did I know you don't
This is just how you act.
I wish you did, I know you won't...
A cruel, heartbreaking fact.
I want to tell you what I feel,
but I know you don't feel the same...
I blush, and it's just all so real
And you call me by my name.
If I'm right and you don't like me,
And I know that I'm not wrong.
I'm not asking much of you,
Please follow along:
Don't flirt and wink, bump my hip
Call me gorgeous, or make eyes at me.
I don't care how casual this is...
You toying with me.
My heart flutters, and I stutter,
I forget what I meant to say...
I make a joke of no consequence
And quickly walk away.
Today I hugged you tightly,
My head over your heart
I felt it skip a beat
Well, mine didn't restart.
A few seconds after that,
It beat and beat again
Hitting twice as fast
The fastest it's ever been.
My goodness I hope you like me
But I know just as well
There's no way that you do...
My own personal hell.
There's nothing worse in my mind
Than unrequited love
Than this, this casual questioning
I've only heard of.
Every time you hug me, or hold me close,
Or you glance down at my lips
I'll die a little more inside
But it'd hurt more to lose this.