I don't know. I really don't. I wish that I could have been able to post but my life's kind of flipped on an edge in the last few months. Seriously, everything has been sideways since winter and I'm finally adjusting to my new position. It's been a bit of a bumpy road but I'm regaining my footing and reclaiming my pride. Honestly, I'm just happy I've made it this far.
It's a hard thing to be alone, but what's harder is being alone when in a room full of people, and that's been me all my life. I've been ignoring that nagging feeling of loneliness for years but it can only be kept at bay for so long. When Alex entered my life about seven months ago I felt vindicated for a few months, before there grew this nagging entered the back of my head to tell him what I'd kept in for so long, this secret I could no longer bear to keep, and one night I just did. I ripped off my figurative band aid and told him. But the wound was still open and it was just too soon. So now there's no going back and my life has been struck down. So I must apologize for my lack of posting. Hopefully you understand.
For whatever reason, life has been insane recently.
And this secret isn't something I'm willing to share, at all. I really only told Alex to finally get help and because I trust him. I hope not to hear questions over what the secret is or a mention of it. I'll tell on my own time, and not before.
I'll try and post more often now.
Love,
R
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