Beauty

It's hard to let go of things.
It's no secret.
Well, it's hard for me to let go of things.

Today is Easter, for those of you who are Christians/Whatevers, otherwise it's just another Sunday. And that's fine, because this is not about the holiday.
We sat around the table, exhausting subject after subject. I try, I promise you I try, to make conversation. I don't know how to, but I try to. But all I can do is stare at the tulips on the table. One of them seems perfect. I photograph them. I want to put them in my room and keep them for myself because I feel I'm the only one who can appreciate them. I'm not. I think I deserve the beauty. I don't. I know I should be happy with what I have.
I'm not.
I know I'm lucky, I know others are worse off than I am. I know life could be worse.
And it's not.
But I don't want the flowers to die. I don't want my mom to throw them away. I don't want them to go to waste.
I don't want them here.
If they'd gone to a family who didn't care about the beauty, they would've been better off. They'd be there, they would be seen, they would be thrown away. And I wish that had happened.
But no. Then I wouldn't have gotten to appreciate them.
They won't last forever. Nothing will. But some things aren't going to change anytime soon, and I have no problem with that.
And I could live my whole life in one day and do everything I wanted. And I'd be happy with what I did. Because I don't have anyone relying on me, and I'm not leaving anything behind.
But everything's unfinished. I guess my life is sort of unfinished. And I don't want to leave it that way.
If you want to see my photos, I'll put them up here. Just let me know.

Forever And Always Won't Always Last
In Fact, The Time's Going Fast

Rex